or, Who Needs a Perfect World?
In a perfect world, I would be completely recovered from the bad head cold I came down with several weeks ago. I'd be free of the sinus infection that followed. My voice (that I lost last week) would be healed in full. My house would be free of clutter. I would have had enough energy after teaching all day yesterday to swim laps last night instead of collapsing into bed with a pizza and laptop streaming tv shows. I would have woken up between six and seven this morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I would have known when the painters and maintenance supervisor were scheduled. I would have left the house in time to arrive for my morning appointment on time. The download link I sent out to students this morning would have worked correctly. The electricity would not have gone out and my computer would not have shut down while I was trying to solve the download link problem. Just as I was sitting down to write, the leaf blowers would not have started up outside my windows. Um... and so forth.
It's 5 pm and I feel like I'm just getting started. Speaking of which, a few minutes ago, I started out writing about schedules and time and now find that I'm writing about a perfect world.
The facts are that I did wake up this morning (I could end this sentence right there) in plenty of time for everything that needed to happen. (Although I have not yet done my morning Kundalini Yoga set.) I was ten minutes late to my morning appointment (but I made it). I swam half a mile mid-day. The maintenance supervisor solved the mold problem. The painter has almost finished her work. I solved the download link problem. The "landscapers" are almost finished. And everything is probably going to be all right.
I don't deal well with chaos and clutter. That being said, like it or not, life tumbles along amidst chaos and clutter. You never know what's going to happen next.
For example, last Saturday, I went out for a walk around the neighborhood in absolutely perfect weather. On my way back, about three blocks from home, a single storm cell flew in with serious horizontal lightning, the air turned orange and then green, I practically climbed the fence of the first neighbor I knew and begged for a lift home. Fortunately for me, he dropped everything and gave me a lift. By the time I'd run into the house and turned on the lights, I looked out to see that enough hail had fallen to mimic a snow storm. The roofs, cars, parking lot, lawn, everything was covered in white. You never know what's going to happen next.
While I was thinking of writing this post two weeks ago, I was really struggling with the sinus infection, low energy and a hoarse throat while working pretty darn hard. I kept thinking of that Winston Churchill quote,
When you're going through hell, keep going.
Just put one foot in front of the other.
I'm not sure what this post is about, exactly. It seems to be part venting about not very interesting or important stuff, and part just going with the flow. As it happens, as it happens.
I mean, I know all too well that what I've described is simply incidental living and nothing compared to true chaos and upheaval. Not to discount or minimize in any way my own traumas, but even those experiences pale compared to what others are experiencing or have experienced.
I come from a family of refugees. I'm used to surviving and going with the flow, and what happened to me was just life. —Yasmine Al Masri
It was actually a pretty good day. The weather was pleasant. Some problems were solved. I have a few more jobs to tackle. Then I have the great fortune of laying down in my own bed with my furry little beast and drifting off to sleep, perchance to dream.
Right now, I'm going to mop up that drywall and paint dust.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. —Joseph Campbell